


I hope I'll meet you in a story some day, and the ending won't be this sad.

by crappykawa13



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Angst, Gen, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I wrote this in an hour, M/M, Multi, No Beta, Other, POV First Person, Stream of Consciousness, We Die Like Men, in another life, in another life broke me and i'm the dumbass who decided to read this 4 times, no beta we die like bo- oh wait, peep the 'the galaxy is endless (i thought we we're too)' reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:21:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26456341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crappykawa13/pseuds/crappykawa13
Summary: Bokuto's last thoughts.This is inspired by LittleLuxray's "In Another Life". If you haven't read that, then do that first.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 18
Kudos: 69





	I hope I'll meet you in a story some day, and the ending won't be this sad.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [In Another Life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5096105) by [LittleLuxray](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLuxray/pseuds/LittleLuxray). 



_ "Koutarou?" _

_ "I want you to know that... I don't regret meeting you." _

_ "I am... Very happy to have met you. And to have gotten to know you..." _

_ "So... Thank you, Koutarou, for talking to me in the hall that day... And asking me if I was alright. Because I wasn't, then. But... I am, now." _

Those words were probably the closest thing I’d get to those three words. You are beautiful, don’t doubt that, but how I wanted to say those three words and let them be my last. I don’t have to say it, my body is too weak to say it, I was afraid to say it, I can’t say it now.

You’d probably cry if I said it.

I love you, Akaashi Keiji, but you already knew that.

He buries himself closer into my side. I settle my arm around him and imagine. I imagine because that was the closest I’ll ever come again to dreaming. Dreaming of coming home to Keiji, of afternoon naps with Keiji, of waking up early and watching the sun slowly illuminate his peaceful expression indicating sleep. Sleep seemed to be the only time that perpetual crease of worry left the space between his brows. When he was sleeping and when he held that breathtakingly beautiful smile. Oh, how beautiful that smile is, I wish I could see it now.

Keiji’s soft “Good night, Koutarou” pulled me out of my reverie, and I slowly felt him relax against me. Apathy-Kun’s sleeping form reminded me of that last night at his house.

_ "I'm sorry."  _

_ "... I never meant to drag you into my life..." _

_ "I know that I'm unbearable. I know that I'm a lost cause. I know that you know that, too... And yet you still stick by me." _

_ "So... Thank you." _

I’m sorry that you stayed. I’m sorry that you had to suffer with me. I’m sorry I wanted to get to know you. I’m glad I got to know you. I’m glad I didn’t have to suffer alone. Thank you for staying. Please don’t leave me. I love you.

I feel the familiar wave of exhaustion wash over my already exhausted self. I knew the cycle, the floating the lull of sleep, the moment before I could go under, and the jerk back to consciousness. But I couldn’t help convincing myself, tricking myself, every time, that this time, this moment, this pull, would be the one. The one where I could finally sleep, the one where I could dream of Akaashi, the one where I could know what it feels like to wake up with him by my side.

I feel sleep creeping around the edges of my mind, just out of my grasp, and close my eyes. Please be the one. Please be the one. Just one short nap, so I can dream of my love and wake to the sight of that beautiful smile gracing his lips. I open my eyes and use all the energy I have to look down at him. The perpetual crease of worry is gone and he has a small smile set delicately on his lips. I want this. So much. It shocks me how much I want this other life when just yesterday I was resigned to die and fade away. I want this. I want a life. I want you, Keiji. 

That pull of sleep gives an insistent tug and I close my eyes again. The darkness of sleep surrounds me as that peaceful unconsciousness that I once took for granted settles deep within my soul. 

Finally. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I drafted the outline for this last week with "please don't leave me" in my notes, and then read "The galaxy is endless (I thought we were too)" today and had a major WHOA SYNERGY moment.  
> I wrote the whole "I want this" etc. part as an allusion to reincarnation and bokuto lowkey manifesting dying so that he can live this other life.  
> It's rough, I started this at 9:30 pm and finished at 10:25 pm. I'm not a good writer so go easy on me. Constructive criticism is welcome


End file.
